Sticks & Stones

If you haven’t caught on yet: we have a bible of pet peeves. Today we have to rant about ‘low blows’. I think the moment you graduate and move on from the bubble we call high school; the low blows shouldn’t follow. It’s inevitable at times to let your emotions guide you but as you get older you need to man up, be an adult, and let bygones be bygones.

If your best friend was ‘white girl wasted’ and started a stupid fight with you because you cut her off. LET IT GO. If an ex decides to contact you either ignore it or act friendly. It’s pretty mind-boggling how someone you once loved and confided in can hit below the belt with no remorse.

Do we need to remind you all the golden rule, ‘If you have nothing nice to say don’t say it at all’.

Basically, these Betties are fed up with the drama, name-calling, and low blow comments that are completely unnecessary. Grow up. If you think life is an ongoing series of Vanderpump Rules — you are delusional. People don’t open up and share their dreams so you can make fun of it later when you’ve run out of ammo. A person who belittles a dream probably doesn’t have their own.

Words have a lasting impression on a person. So why not make your words extraordinary. Be the type of person that has enough class and respect for others to lift them up, not bring them down like a coward.

Just remember Betties & Bobbies… Revenge doesn’t get even BUT karma does.

Don’t ever fucking bully anyone and just so you know karma has everybody’s address and a mother fucking stamp – Lady Gaga

The Ultimate Betties


Dear Middle Finger…

Thanks for sticking up for me!

"As long as you look good, and you cross your legs..middle fingers don't matter."

“As long as you look good, and you cross your legs..middle fingers don’t matter.”

As trashy as it may be, let’s be honest the middle finger has become a complete staple of our generation. Words don’t even need to be spoken and you know exactly what that person is trying to convey. It’s universal.

One of the most ancient insult gestures known, the middle finger seems to have originated over two millennia ago. It has also been commonly referred to as a phallic symbol: “By doing it, you are offering someone a phallic gesture. It is saying, ‘this is a phallus’ that you’re offering to people, which is a very primeval display.” –BBC News

The middle finger probably arrived in America with the Italian immigrants in the late 1800’s..vaffanculo. And thank you to the Italians, Americans now use it on day-to-day basis. We see it on TV, in pictures, magazines, walking down the street, you name it. People have even positioned their babies sticking up that finger with pride.

Half the time it’s used as a flirty gesture. Let’s look at Bob and Betty flirting during a normal work day, there is definitely some chemistry between them and Bob likes to throw in some playful banter. Although, Betties do use their words if she has nothing to say up goes that middle finger with cute smile to follow.

Judge us all you want but we have no shame using the middle finger:

Keep your chin up high and you’re middle finger higher.

Stay Classy!


The Ultimate Betties


St. Valentine, we’re coming for you.

In less than a week one of the most popular and dreaded holidays will be upon us. That’s right; Valentine’s Day. If you are ten or younger, this holiday is great. It’s rather ridiculous for adults (in our opinion). Why have one day a year to express your love? How about bringing your better half flowers just because you feel like it? Maybe we sound slightly jaded here BUT we don’t want gifts based on obligation. No thank you.

Anyways…. We did a little research to dig up the “real” meaning of this holiday. Apparently there are a few different tales of who St. Valentine is; mysterious little fella. One legend states that he was a priest who served in third century Rome. Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than men with wives. He outlawed marriage for young men. St. Valentine didn’t agree with this AT ALL. He went behind the emperors back and continued to marry young lovers in secret. Once this information surfaced the emperor ordered the saint be put to death.

To make a long story short, Betties. What we learned this week had no lasting impression on our anti-valentine’s day opinions. However, now we know who to thank for this god-awful holiday. The moment Steven Hawking confirms that time travel is in fact, real. We will be heading back to third century Rome and personally slapping St. Valentine across the face. We’re not kidding.


The Ultimate Betties


Man, Woman or Metrosexual?

[me-troh-sek-shoo-uh l]

1. A heterosexual, usually urban male who pays much attention to his personal appearance and cultivates an upscale lifestyle.

So everyone is throwing this ‘M’ word around like it’s some kind of bad thing. When you
look back at 40 or more years of our culture, think about all the snazzy outfits that have evolved from the 60s through the 70s and continue to this day. They are always changing but haven’t guys always cared about how cool they looked, even though they are duty bound not to admit it?

Most men are Metrosexual but few will admit it. If you’re on your way out the door to
work, to tennis, to the gym, going out with your buddies or on a date and you pause for a
moment at the front door and look at yourself in the mirror, you got to admit how you look
matters. Even if the look is a little different, you are indeed a member of the ‘M’ group, like it or not.

The modern day Metro. Plays a contact sport but still manages to keep up his appearance and look like a man.

The modern-day Metro. Plays a contact sport but still manages to keep up his appearance and look like a man.

It’s important to look your best. You only get one First Impression and we all know it
counts. Don’t get stuck on the label. A man who knows he wants to look good is not a sin. So man enjoy your newly found Metrosexuality!


The Ultimate Bob

A Betty Rant

Alrighty Betties and Bob’s, we have to strongly voice our opinion on such topic: Your business on Facebook.

We’re going to make this short and sweet because we value your time and attention spans. We’re not here to offend anyone but for the love of god stop posting your personal drama on Facebook. Tell yourself(if you’re guilty of it) or anyone you know that no one cares!!


Don’t get us wrong, people care about your problems and those people should be the only ones who hear about it. Sorry if you and your boyfriend are having problems but seriously changing your relationship status every time you have a fight is just absurd.

The last thing we want to see when we log-in to our Facebook’s is the newest Jerry Springer episode. Let’s be real we would rather watch that on TV, at least it has entertainment value.

So, with that off of our chest let’s talk about how to avoid this if you’re guilty of this nonsense:

1. First..take that ish to Twitter..there are too many things going on for people to even see your tweet.

2. Quotes and lyrics are cool if they’re funny or motivational but emo and sappy ones are overdone.

3. Seriously, talk to a friend, a family member, a therapist..someone. People care, just not when they’re trying to get their latest Facebook fix.

You look ridiculous sharing that you’re done with your baby daddy and you deserve better. GOOD. Finally you realized it..instead of writing a Facebook post pack up your stuff and never look back.

Also, we realize there is indeed a button for hiding peoples status updates but this is a long time coming and well we just wanted to vent.


The Ultimate Betties

A Bro’s Sexuality

The other day we saw a random Bob smackin’ the ass of the guy in front of him at the store. They clearly knew each other.. well we hope they did.

That act immediately made us think of when we were in middle school. Those crazy awkward years filled with braces and baby fat. When we first saw guys hugging and yelling “Love you bro” across the hallway. Back then we thought it was a little strange,’s like second nature. If we don’t hear most guys sharing their love affairs with their bros it’s almost assumed that they’re really not great friends.

This love that men in this century share is not an act of homosexuality, but rather of a strong bond and a secure sense of their own sexuality. Don’t get us wrong, there is a limit that can lead to an extreme case of a typical douche-bag, but that’s not where were going with this.

We just think it’s interesting how the term “macho” has changed. For starters, that word is not used much anymore, but when it was the first image that popped into your head was definitely an image of:


BTW..R.I.P. Randy Savage

In this decade, that word has been dismissed and the meaning of strong and manly plus  the look of guys doesn’t even seem to matter. Which, in all reality is great. Now, we just get the Bros, with “bro love” and “bro touch” (Urban Dictionary that one for a laugh).

The point is, even though the “bro” culture may not be as manly or socially acceptable to the older generations, we Betties accept our Bros and our Bobs just the same.

Love you all,

The Ultimate Betties

Our Language on the Move


Like so many other institutions, the dictionary business moves with trends and fads
which embed themselves into our culture. Our language moves with that process, sort of a diction evolution. Our language evolves to keep pace with our current conventions and cultural events. The newest version of the Oxford English Edition of the Dictionary has added about 1700 new words and meanings as we pull into 2013.

These words are great. Some are obvious (Man Cave and F-Bomb) and some quirky and remote like the one I heard on my 13 year old daughter’s fav radio show; A man being called a Mitch. The female version would be a bitch. Women run with Bitches, men with Mitches. It’s not yet made its way onto our list for the next dictionary edition but it is, I fear, eventually headed that way.


Our language is rich with opportunity to string great words together and make poetry
out of prose. Let’s take some pride in our spoken word. Words are awesome. I’m not high-
browing it here, but we should have some standards. I could not fathom using a dictionary,
even on line, where the words Vajazzle and Blootered were recognized and allowed to take up some space. So my final thought is that you go look them up and figure out what they mean. One’s a noun and the other an adjective…


Ultimate Bob


Healthy Alternatives

The holidays are over and the blues begin to set in. Only three more months until Spring Break. That means, we have very little time to get rid of what we packed on during all the lovely festivities. It doesn’t help when you work full-time, go to school, and the gym seems to get pushed further and further down your priority list.

We’ve put together a list of 25 healthy snacks you can take to the office to jump start getting trim & slim.


If there’s anything missing that you enjoy, please comment and let us all know!!!


The Ultimate Betties

Not So Random Thoughts

Not So Random thoughts for 2013 from an Ultimate Bob.

Like many before, New Years fizzled for me this year. It wasn’t because I wasn’t excited to ring in a new year and wash away the old. I goofed up on the Ultimate Bob protocol for a proper celebratory transition into the New Year. My positive attitude knows I will do far better as we go forward into 2014.

Despite the gender swerve, we are all, at one level or another, alike no matter how different we envision ourselves. We love peace, dislike hate and intolerance and enjoy being respected; the list is long. We all spend multicolored money and we all bleed red blood. There is only one race…The Human Race and we’re all in it together.

Let’s all plan on making 2013 the year that each of us make a difference. If you go and volunteer in a soup kitchen, don’t wait. If you donate clothes or household goods to needy and deserving charities, do it sooner. There is no room for intellectual lethargy. Get Moving! Let’s not wait for the transition into 2014 to lament the important things we promised to do this year but didn’t. Good intentions are only a good start.

The Ultimate Bob…

The Choice is YOURS

Each morning when you start your day you embark on a series of ‘choices’. Much like ‘The Butterfly Effect’, each choice will create a different journey for you in life. The best part about this, Betties, you are in control. YOU CHOSE. You can either be like the biddies in the back, playing it safe through life or YOU can channel your inner Betty – buckle up, pull your skirt up, hold on to your hat and enjoy the ride. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Make smart choices but never lose sight of why we’re here; to laugh and have the journey of a lifetime.


The Ultimate Betties

Thank You

Back in the “Betty” days when cellphones, computers and most of the technology we use today wasn’t available, writing a letter was the best way of communication.


Yesterday I got a thank you card from my best friend, Miss West Coast Betty. It was a Thank You card for the present I sent her for Christmas. She contacted me when she initially got the gift and thanked me. However, receiving that card and knowing she went that extra mile, made my day that much better!

Along with always saying Thank You, Letters or cards are never taken for granted nowadays. It’s so genuine not only to receive one but to write one as well. We try to make this a habit, you should too!

Operation Pay It Forward should be in full effect being the second week of 2013. Keep making this year great.. We are!


The Ultimate Betties

Things We Love: Knock Knock Products

Every now and then we come across products that we absolutely love and of course we want to share them all with you!

Knock Knock products are for the comedians, the passive aggressive types, the dysfunctional ones and of course the writers. We say this with love and well, because it’s true. Once you look through some of their products you’ll love them.

They offer; journals, notepads, stamps, sticky notes, stuff for your dorm room and more!


They make their products so fun and unique that even if it is a note that starts off with “things you do that really piss me off” it’s still lighthearted.

We originally found one of Knock Knock‘s mini journals at Pier One. While flipping through it and laughing at the random quotes and sarcastic nature we decided we had to find more products and more products we found!

The office products are sure to help ease some tension when your boss tells you something you don’t want to hear.

Check out their site (Knock Knock Stuff) for even more fab finds. Another great idea for a Christmas gift!


The Ultimate Betties

The Ultimate Holiday Party Musts

OK Betties – Get ready for a list of oober cute things you must have for your next holiday party. December’s filled with events and gatherings for friends and family. We want to make sure you are prepared for yours and have everyone leaving in absolute awe!

Decor: 206532332881675820_RTyEoaV6_c

Adorable Elf Napkin 








Paper Snowflakes









Grab small stockings to place inside drinking cups that will hold cutlery and a fun little candy cane treat for your guests!







Drinks & Treats:

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Hot Cocoa Dippers








Pomegranate Mojito







Peppermint Eggnog

Your party will surely be a hit with these goodies! If you have anything you would like to share with us, please do! We’re always looking for new ideas.


The Ultimate Betties

The Ultimate Betty Giveaway












Betties —

Go follow us on Facebook & Twitter!

Once either site has accumulated our 100th follower a prize will be given to that person!

Tell all of your friends!!! This giveaway is not something you want to miss out on

XO, The Ultimate Bettie’s


A Quick Favor

Hello All!

We just wanted to send you all a quick message asking for a huge favor. We work hard everyday on this blog to get our content available to everyone we possibly can. The great thing about blogs is that everyone can read them and if they care enough about what they have just read they will probably pass it along.

We know that when we read content on the web we share it with each other, our friends and our family. We ask that if you come across this post check out our full site and if you like what you see follow us! If you don’t (and that’s OK) maybe you know someone else who would like our stuff, pass it along. The more people we reach the better. Not because we’re trying to get this blog famous (though that would be ah-maaaay-zing!) we hope some of our posts help people. These Betties were born to help! , were also on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest, just search The Ultimate Betty or The Ult Betty.
Thanks again to all of you who do follow us, comment on or like our posts. It means a lot more to us than you probably realize.


The Ultimate Betties