Inspiration Mondays

After the weekend, between the partying, sleeping, chatting with friends and the oh so unwanted drama you’re now back at work. Wah. But never fear we are going to provide you with your Monday inspiration because let’s be honest..sometimes we all need a feel better, feel good quote. So….

Enjoy!

inspirationweek1

xo,

The Ultimate Betties

 

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The grass could be greener

We all know the saying:

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Well we call BS! Obviously it has and can definitely be proven true but when we hear that saying it just makes us think negatively. These Betties are always “half full” so we do our best to push the negativity out of our lives.

Just because you’re not particularly happy in the situation you may be in currently, does not mean you have to stay there. Everyone is putting the bug in your ear that what may be your next move won’t prove as hopeful as you’d like. They’re the ones who are missing out, not you.

GreenGrassRachel

They may be right, it could turn out to be a worse situation but again, you never know until you try. At least you will have that one up on them, taking chances and learning new things.

Moving up or on never hurt anyone in the long run. Do what you want!

xo,

The Ultimate Betties

Bite your Tongue!

Betties, this one is going to be short and sweet and this is why; because we say what we want when we want. Seriously.

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The older we get and the more situations that we encounter, the more we learn to truly speak our minds. Growing up, we tried to bite our tongues when we were mad in lieu of keeping ourselves on the safe side. Not any more honey, say what you want!

Speak that mind of yours. Someone put you down? Leave you high and dry with no explanation about why they wanted out? Or perhaps they just annoy the ever-living sh*t out of you. Tell them what has been eating at you all this time. If you choose to put it nicely, so be it but don’t hold back your feelings too long. Everyone should say what they want and ask the questions they need to acquire the answers they deserve.

And remember to not feel bad about it once it’s over. People will respect the blunt truth over the hiding of a lie, just to avoid feelings or awkwardness.

..At one point it is what you wanted to say.

XO,

The Ultimate Betties

The Giving Tree

Are you the type of person who constantly gives? to the point where it’s a major fault and leaves you feeling depleted? Everyone occasionally feels like this, but there is definitely a ‘type’ of person out there that gives until they have absolutely nothing.

We are very into astrology (we always take it with a grain of salt) but one particular horoscope this week stuck out to us. “Being a giver is wonderful – as long as the recipients are worth of your gifts.

We aren’t advising you to become the worlds biggest bitch and say no so much it’s the only word in your vocabulary. However, putting yourself first is healthy. It’s vital to making yourself happy as well as successful. Everyone is always preaching that givers are far more rewarded than takers. MAYBE that is true BUT at what point will YOU be the one who is taking a little while others give to you. It has to be just the right type of balance.

Never let anyone take advantage of you or make you feel that you cannot get things accomplished YOU need to because their tasks are more important. It’s healthy to say no every now and then. Never stretch yourself too thin. The only person that hurts is YOU.

Xo,

West Coast Betty

Single & Ready to Mingle

Ask yourself if you’re ready to mingle before doing so. Are you really ready to mingle? Have you ever seen the movie Swingers? If not, you need to watch it.

I know who I’ve been in relationships. The first time I meet someone I should be wearing a T-Shirt that reads: “Run away. Don’t walk.” Why? Because this chick has work to do before she can ever contribute to a healthy, monogamous relationship with another. For now, I think I will go to Ikea and buy a bamboo tree instead of trying to date.

Take the guy in Swingers, for example. He gets a girl’s number out at a club the first night he meets her. Then, he calls her repeatedly the same evening and leaves voicemail after voicemail on her answering machine until the tape runs out. His voicemails are so lengthy that the machine cuts him off on every attempt. He proceeds to call her back and explain himself. But what happens? The machine continues to cut him off. So he calls back. And on and on and on. You get the point. What I’m trying to say is I’m that guy. You’ve either done this or had it done to you at some point in your life. I haven’t the first clue how to date. In my previous relationship I got lucky because it was love at first sight. Our connection was instant. And yes, I do believe in love at first sight. But, the challenge is maintaining love. Without the proper tools it fades. We skipped the dating stage and lasted several years. But throughout the relationship, I played the same tape over and over again until it finally ran out. She was done. I was done. There was nothing left to give.

I like the phrase single and ready to mingle. It’s catchy. It’s cute. What is mingling anyway? Is it meeting someone new, charming them into bed, into their life and then, Bam! You’re stuck with them for at least the next one to five years.

Single and ready to mingle can be fun, but when a person says it, how can you really tell if they’re ready? I’m 32 going on 25 and this is the first time I’ve ever pondered this question. Hmm…newsflash captain obvious – if you have to question if you’re ready to mingle, chances are you are not ready. Most people are in such a hurry to rush right into that next relationship to take their next victim hostage that they don’t pause long enough to ask if they are ready, let alone heal from the previous relationship. Also, be careful if you’re playing around with those online dating sites. You never know. You might meet your next baby daddy in less time than you planned.

I like single. Just single. Single but not available. Because where I’m at right now, if I meet someone, and I did recently, who’s an amazing woman who actually knows how to date, it would look like this:

“Hi, my name is Heartbroken and I’m not over my ex. Let me tell you all about her and every detail. Then I will drive us to our second date in a U-Haul and ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. We can talk all day and night about every single feeling and process them together while making homemade hummus. When there is silence, I will ask you if you are mad at me. I won’t give you a chance to answer and I will then bombard you with a series of questions before you’ve had an opportunity to answer the first question. The series of questions as follows: Do you not want to be with me anymore? Was it something I said or did? Do I have hummus in my teeth? Did I leave too many voicemails? I’m really sorry but your machine kept cutting me off so I kept calling back to explain but I made it worse.” Phew. Had enough? Yeah, you get the point? For the love of God – do not ever do this. Never. Ever. Single and NOT ready to mingle. Enough said.

The lesson here – take time to get to know yourself before trying to get to know someone else. It’s better to be single than in the wrong relationship. You’re just going to hurt yourself and them.

—Jay

All those eggs..

Do you find that you put them into that little basket..too often? Yeah, it’s a problem with most people and we’re trying to teach ourselves a new technique.

You see, men, a lot of them always have a back-up plan. For an example, (sorry bobs) they always have something or someone there for them when things go wrong, or a back-up plan if something fails. It could be pig-ish or it could be genius. If we get over the fact that this is absolute truth and move on to the fact that it’s actually a smart move..snaps for the smart men out there.

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We’ve learned this past week again, not to believe everything we hear and be content with what we have. There is far too much going on in the world and around us everyday to have our minds set on just ONE person or ONE job or ONE thing. Don’t get us wrong, if you have a great job and a great relationship, congratulations! You achieved what you wanted but for the rest of us still trying to get that job or find that perfect mate, take that old idiom and use it.

Just stay true to you and good things will come your way. Promise.

xo,

The Ultimate Betties

Attention ALL: Gossip Girls

Betty Rule #17: Don’t Gossip

Next to the Golden rule should be parenthesis (this includes no gossiping). We’re human and we all love hearing the 411 on people. We don’t expect people to just quit this cold turkey. However, there are manners involved. For instance, you hear a juicy story and discuss it amongst a small group. Fine. That is if this small group includes those you FULLY trust. If not, the game of telephone has now begun. One person from that small group will run to another small group relying the story. Now, the scoop on Sally’s break-up has turned into a drama series of her ex sleeping with the next door neighbor. Which is completely false!

We forget that while we’re gossiping about someone, they are dealing with the actual issue. Instead of making it worse by hearing 12 different stories that are untrue… Ask if they need help, A person to talk to, or your best bet: STAY OUT OF IT.

Remember this the next time it’s YOU being gossiped about. No one likes it! We’re all adults now and this shouldn’t even require a post! Do us all a favor and TRY your hardest to turn over a new leaf by not allowing gossip in your circle of friends.

xoxo,

West Coast Betty

Take a deeper look

We all know the old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” but do YOU actually practice what you preach…or read? Yeah, we know it’s hard. But we have found ourselves, lately, surrounded by people who tend to do this more than we’d like.

And that’s fine, that’s their prerogative. However, these Betties are excellent at reading people. Down to the core, OK, maybe not that deep but we will pat ourselves on the back for how awesome we are at seeing the good in people. Even when countless people tell us to stay away we usually already know what to do.iceberg

Sometimes people’s opinions of others is right but usually it’s wrong. People only see what they want to see. It’s only unless they truly care about you that they’re going to see what lies beneath the exterior. Just like Facebook and Instagram, we all only show what we like and what we think looks good. Same as in in the flesh, we choose to show people what we want.

We challenge you to be different from the rest, or at least try something new. Don’t judge the next person you see or get to know a person you’ve already met deeper. Only you can determine if someone to going to be good to you or for you.

You are the only one who will know what is best for you, trust yourself more.

xo,

The Ultimate Betties

Familiarity

Recently, we heard this saying or quote if you will:

What feels familiar is not always best.

Now, we all know some variation of this is true. However, in the context of the discussion we were in it was something completely different from what we expected. We are referring to the “type” of people you, I, or We are attracted to.

Say we are attracted to the quiet type, or the opposite the obnoxious type. Trial after trial we seek out these types because it is familiar. Yet, if you back up and see your pattern and realize that it’s not working out for you with that “type” try something new. It will be different, yes, but different doesn’t always mean bad.

familiarity

You never know who will make you happy unless you give them a chance. Step outside of your typical comfort zone and get used to meeting new people. The best friendships and relationships are usually unexpected and when you’re not looking for one. Instead of searching out the same kind d-bag that you always seem to, let someone different approach you. Hopefully, you will give them a chance!

Be real,

The Ultimate Betties xo

 

YOU are who YOU associate YOURSELF with

After a wonderful weekend spent star gazing at Coachella we are back to reality. Monday Blues. Wah!

Spending a weekend with such beautiful people makes you realize a lot. The worst part of it all: our parents were right. Remember that saying “you are who you associate yourself with”, the one that always made you shriek as you were walking out the door with your worst crew of friends; trying to pretend like they were angels. Yeah. Apparently, our parents wisdom reached us during an epiphany at the greatest music festival since Woodstock. Standard.

The people in which you decide to spend time with, essentially will affect the person you become. It all sounds very clichè but we’ve seen it happen. Imagine the five closest people to you. Are they the type who party and trash daddy’s beach house? Are they successful? Even if they aren’t now, do they have dreams they are working toward? See… All of this matters. It does reflect upon you what others around you are doing.

Make sure you surround yourself with those who will lift you up, challenge you to do better, and tell you when you need to get your shit straight.

XO,
The Ultimate Bettie’s

Great Sexpectations

So, lets just say you are hooking up with two different guys and you find yourself in a predicament. When we say hooking up, we know how we mean it but take it for what it’s worth.

A friend of ours came to us recently and told us about her most recent hook-up, and a new guy shes been talking to. The problem is: she isn’t over the first one but he seems to be over her. Shitty situation but let’s be real..this happens to all of us at some point in time. One person is always most interested than their counterpart.

That being said we gave her our honest opinion: keep your options open. Here’s the thing about humans, we want what we can’t have. Once guy #1 realizes he can’t just call you up randomly always expecting you to be there for him..suddenly you are the apple of his eye again. But don’t fall for it, never fall for it. Unless you can seriously lock up those emotions are through that key far into the ocean.

doyou_lr_1

We say give guy number two a chance or let him be a distraction from guy one. Whatever works for you better. Either way move the f**k on Betties! Too many other things apart of this world to explore. Go exploring!

xo,

The Ultimate Betties

Empathy

Hey Betties and Bobbies,

This is my first official entry as a Bobby, so here is a little back story into my work profile. I went to school for Fashion Design. I know.. hold your “what a typical bobby” scoff, until I finish. My mom passed away while I was attending school, so I never ended up finishing. I had this whole late teens/early 20’s crisis, and decided that it wasn’t for me. That is when I settled to work in the hospitality industry. I am, by no means, turning my nose up at ANY position in this field. In all of my experience, they literally are the hardest working people. Even if someone says “it’s the easiest job in the world”. Yeah, okay. It’s easy. However, there is far more to it than meets the eye.

Though I now have a career in the fashion industry, I still continue to bartend and serve because the people I work with, and work for are amazing. I have been there for 6 years, and they have literally become my family. I have seen so many people, come and go. ‘This one is a teacher, this one is a nurse, this one is a doctor’ so please be mindful of “the bitch who didn’t bring you a diet coke” or “the asshole who forgot your ranch dressing.” As I said before, yes, some may say it’s the easiest job but just like everyone else in the world, they are people too. You don’t know what is going on behind the scenes in the life of your server/bartender/hostess.
Yes, some will say, when you walk in the doors, your personal issues stay outside. THAT IS NEVER THE CASE AND YOU KNOW IT. That has to be some Jedi mind trick that no one has ever taught me, and I don’t believe it’s true. Do I put on a fake smile sometimes? Absolutely. Will I ever be rude to a customer because I’m having a bad day/week/month? Never. However, if you don’t treat me like a human being, I’m certainly not going to give you the same respect. So, the next time you say to yourself, “Wow, this service sucks”, take a different approach. That normal protocol of not tipping or asking to speak to the manager, because option A.) you just made that server pay for your meal or option B.) you potentially just got that person fired from a minimum wage job. If someone came into your job, wherever it may be and was rude to you, what would you do?

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The point I’m trying to make here is all about: EMPATHY. This is totally not a religious, Jesus, rant. It’s about treating others with respect, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. No matter what, the common denominator is that we are all made of skin, bones, and blood. We all have a brain, and just because you have the time to go sit at a restaurant, does not make you any more superior than the person serving you your food and drinks. Just keep that in mind the next time you go out for dinner, or have a Betties night out. That girl serving you, and your Betties cosmos, COULD BE WITH HER BETTIES, having cosmos, but instead she is there taking care of YOU. Take the time to realize that and treat her right.)

xoxo,

Bobby

Happy Hands

We have come to realize lately, if we’re not doing something almost always, then were either sleeping or on the edge of going crazy.

Do you find yourself with far too much down time? Maybe you’re in the middle of a transition phase of your life and your “me” time is through the roof. Super, however there is only so much of yourself you can handle in one day. With all those thoughts circling around in there.. You’re bound to over think and we all know where over-thinking leads us… destruction of some sort.

Betties keep busy and though we thoroughly enjoy our down time we also are so much more productive when we just keep going. There is this saying “happy hands, happy heart.” Stay busy and you won’t dwell on things so much.

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If you find yourself with too much down time, you better pick your ass up and go do something productive. Don’t get stagnant, challenge yourself everyday. Always make time for yourself but part of that is doing things for others as well.

Stay Humble!

xo The Ultimate Betties

Betties Love This: Coachella

Coachella Countdown: 23 Days!

For those who have been to this amazing music festival you already know this is a small fashion show. We decided to pick three outfit choices for those who have never been. We will post a checklist the weekend before so you can double check. This weekend is pure madness and you must be prepared. We recommend Free People, Urban Outfitters, and Forever 21 to help complete these outfits. Don’t be scared to get creative! Cut old band shirts, levis, and break out those worn down chucks.

Give us feedback on what YOU plan on wearing

xo,

The Ultimate Betties

The Betties Take On Spring Training

From traveling to laying out at resorts and being surrounded my our most favorite people; we had the BEST Spring Break. It’s so rough being a Betty. An ideal day for us would be laying out by the pool, Mai Tai in hand, and reading the latest Cosmo. Of course, we were rudely interrupted by a group of male friends who insisted they take us to a Spring Training game.  We know very little about baseball other than what size Yankees shirt we wear and which scandalous broad A-Rod has decided to taint. So we knew we were in for an experience.

IF ONLY the guys would have told us earlier that it’s filled with thousands of boozehounds and extremely sexy players – We would have bought tickets for the entire week. Don’t be fooled… about 10 minutes total was focused on the game. The rest was meeting new friends, running into old friends, drinking one too many beers (all while getting a beautiful tan).

So don’t be ashamed for not knowing the sport. Put on your Victoria’s Secret PINK baseball gear, grab your girls, and go relax! FYI: there is no “half-time” in Baseball so refrain yourself from that statement in front of any hot group of guys!

XO,

The Ultimate Betties