Single & Ready to Mingle

Ask yourself if you’re ready to mingle before doing so. Are you really ready to mingle? Have you ever seen the movie Swingers? If not, you need to watch it.

I know who I’ve been in relationships. The first time I meet someone I should be wearing a T-Shirt that reads: “Run away. Don’t walk.” Why? Because this chick has work to do before she can ever contribute to a healthy, monogamous relationship with another. For now, I think I will go to Ikea and buy a bamboo tree instead of trying to date.

Take the guy in Swingers, for example. He gets a girl’s number out at a club the first night he meets her. Then, he calls her repeatedly the same evening and leaves voicemail after voicemail on her answering machine until the tape runs out. His voicemails are so lengthy that the machine cuts him off on every attempt. He proceeds to call her back and explain himself. But what happens? The machine continues to cut him off. So he calls back. And on and on and on. You get the point. What I’m trying to say is I’m that guy. You’ve either done this or had it done to you at some point in your life. I haven’t the first clue how to date. In my previous relationship I got lucky because it was love at first sight. Our connection was instant. And yes, I do believe in love at first sight. But, the challenge is maintaining love. Without the proper tools it fades. We skipped the dating stage and lasted several years. But throughout the relationship, I played the same tape over and over again until it finally ran out. She was done. I was done. There was nothing left to give.

I like the phrase single and ready to mingle. It’s catchy. It’s cute. What is mingling anyway? Is it meeting someone new, charming them into bed, into their life and then, Bam! You’re stuck with them for at least the next one to five years.

Single and ready to mingle can be fun, but when a person says it, how can you really tell if they’re ready? I’m 32 going on 25 and this is the first time I’ve ever pondered this question. Hmm…newsflash captain obvious – if you have to question if you’re ready to mingle, chances are you are not ready. Most people are in such a hurry to rush right into that next relationship to take their next victim hostage that they don’t pause long enough to ask if they are ready, let alone heal from the previous relationship. Also, be careful if you’re playing around with those online dating sites. You never know. You might meet your next baby daddy in less time than you planned.

I like single. Just single. Single but not available. Because where I’m at right now, if I meet someone, and I did recently, who’s an amazing woman who actually knows how to date, it would look like this:

“Hi, my name is Heartbroken and I’m not over my ex. Let me tell you all about her and every detail. Then I will drive us to our second date in a U-Haul and ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. We can talk all day and night about every single feeling and process them together while making homemade hummus. When there is silence, I will ask you if you are mad at me. I won’t give you a chance to answer and I will then bombard you with a series of questions before you’ve had an opportunity to answer the first question. The series of questions as follows: Do you not want to be with me anymore? Was it something I said or did? Do I have hummus in my teeth? Did I leave too many voicemails? I’m really sorry but your machine kept cutting me off so I kept calling back to explain but I made it worse.” Phew. Had enough? Yeah, you get the point? For the love of God – do not ever do this. Never. Ever. Single and NOT ready to mingle. Enough said.

The lesson here – take time to get to know yourself before trying to get to know someone else. It’s better to be single than in the wrong relationship. You’re just going to hurt yourself and them.



Attention ALL: Gossip Girls

Betty Rule #17: Don’t Gossip

Next to the Golden rule should be parenthesis (this includes no gossiping). We’re human and we all love hearing the 411 on people. We don’t expect people to just quit this cold turkey. However, there are manners involved. For instance, you hear a juicy story and discuss it amongst a small group. Fine. That is if this small group includes those you FULLY trust. If not, the game of telephone has now begun. One person from that small group will run to another small group relying the story. Now, the scoop on Sally’s break-up has turned into a drama series of her ex sleeping with the next door neighbor. Which is completely false!

We forget that while we’re gossiping about someone, they are dealing with the actual issue. Instead of making it worse by hearing 12 different stories that are untrue… Ask if they need help, A person to talk to, or your best bet: STAY OUT OF IT.

Remember this the next time it’s YOU being gossiped about. No one likes it! We’re all adults now and this shouldn’t even require a post! Do us all a favor and TRY your hardest to turn over a new leaf by not allowing gossip in your circle of friends.


West Coast Betty

Take a deeper look

We all know the old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” but do YOU actually practice what you preach…or read? Yeah, we know it’s hard. But we have found ourselves, lately, surrounded by people who tend to do this more than we’d like.

And that’s fine, that’s their prerogative. However, these Betties are excellent at reading people. Down to the core, OK, maybe not that deep but we will pat ourselves on the back for how awesome we are at seeing the good in people. Even when countless people tell us to stay away we usually already know what to do.iceberg

Sometimes people’s opinions of others is right but usually it’s wrong. People only see what they want to see. It’s only unless they truly care about you that they’re going to see what lies beneath the exterior. Just like Facebook and Instagram, we all only show what we like and what we think looks good. Same as in in the flesh, we choose to show people what we want.

We challenge you to be different from the rest, or at least try something new. Don’t judge the next person you see or get to know a person you’ve already met deeper. Only you can determine if someone to going to be good to you or for you.

You are the only one who will know what is best for you, trust yourself more.


The Ultimate Betties


Recently, we heard this saying or quote if you will:

What feels familiar is not always best.

Now, we all know some variation of this is true. However, in the context of the discussion we were in it was something completely different from what we expected. We are referring to the “type” of people you, I, or We are attracted to.

Say we are attracted to the quiet type, or the opposite the obnoxious type. Trial after trial we seek out these types because it is familiar. Yet, if you back up and see your pattern and realize that it’s not working out for you with that “type” try something new. It will be different, yes, but different doesn’t always mean bad.


You never know who will make you happy unless you give them a chance. Step outside of your typical comfort zone and get used to meeting new people. The best friendships and relationships are usually unexpected and when you’re not looking for one. Instead of searching out the same kind d-bag that you always seem to, let someone different approach you. Hopefully, you will give them a chance!

Be real,

The Ultimate Betties xo


Bang with Friends?

We have already discussed how ‘social media ruins relationships‘. Sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and the latest obsession; Instagram had made things much more complicated. Just as we thought things could not get worse- THEY DID.

An app that connects you, using your Facebook profile to see which friends find you bang-able has been created. ‘Bang with Friends’ allows you to choose which friends on Facebook you want to mattress mambo. The only time that person is aware of your dirty little crush is if they feel you’re bang-able. Once this has been established an email is sent to both parties.

The rest is up to YOU.
Here we are again. In the midst of another outlet we have to worry about. It will be interesting to see what consequences come from launching of ‘Bang With Friends’.
What are your thoughts? Does this worry you? Disgust you? Simply intrigue you? Share your thoughts!
The Ultimate Betties


“The only constant in life is change,” it is inevitable and that’s life.

If you don’t like something..change it. So simple to say, but change may be very hard to do. We could fill this entire post up with amazing quotes, pictures and stories on change, but instead we are going to try to give out a little inspiration for anyone who needs that extra push. Why? Because sometimes we need that extra push to change things in our lives as well.

Change is probably one of the hardest things to do. Some people embrace it and simply need it all the time, some hate it and live their life their way and that’s that. But there are people who want change and are hesitant to take that leap. It tends to happen for a reason and usually that reason leads to a better life and opportunities. We Betties, we have gone through a lot of change in our lives from living in different states, starting and ending relationships to new friends and changing our majors in college (time and time again).

One big way to tell if you may need change in your life is your moods. If your moods are like a roller coaster and you’re not going through menopause, you need a change. Maybe your life is stagnant, which causes you to feel down. One word: CHANGE. Quit complaining and get out there and do something new!

Please challenge yourself. Not only is it a form of change but it will make you feel so good once you’ve accomplished whatever it was you were trying for.

1. Be positive. Make that invisible cup go from half empty to half full..all of the time.
2. Change up your routine from time to time, take a new route to work, read instead of watching television, shower in the morning instead of at night or vice-versa.
3. Get in contact with an old friend or make time for the friends you have now that you rarely see anymore.

The older you get the harder it is to change something drastically, so do the bigger changing while you’re in your 20’s and 30’s.

Big Change:
1. Quit your job, if you’re miserable. Try something new, you have time to dabble.
“I love my job, if you ask me anyone who hates their jobs have no one to blame but themselves. We make our own destinies and I’ve made a sweet one here.” –Horrible Bosses

2. Move to a new town, city or state. Hell, move to a new country. It’s super nerve-wracking, we have both done it but it provides a new experience, and new friends. Even if you only stay for a couple of months.
3. Try learning something new. Make a bucket list and start doing the things you wrote down on the list.

Be inspired to change, to start something new. It’s really never too late, and life is short. Make your life exciting!

Do you have any creative ways of changing things up in your life? Let us know.

The Ultimate Betties