Empathy

Hey Betties and Bobbies,

This is my first official entry as a Bobby, so here is a little back story into my work profile. I went to school for Fashion Design. I know.. hold your “what a typical bobby” scoff, until I finish. My mom passed away while I was attending school, so I never ended up finishing. I had this whole late teens/early 20’s crisis, and decided that it wasn’t for me. That is when I settled to work in the hospitality industry. I am, by no means, turning my nose up at ANY position in this field. In all of my experience, they literally are the hardest working people. Even if someone says “it’s the easiest job in the world”. Yeah, okay. It’s easy. However, there is far more to it than meets the eye.

Though I now have a career in the fashion industry, I still continue to bartend and serve because the people I work with, and work for are amazing. I have been there for 6 years, and they have literally become my family. I have seen so many people, come and go. ‘This one is a teacher, this one is a nurse, this one is a doctor’ so please be mindful of “the bitch who didn’t bring you a diet coke” or “the asshole who forgot your ranch dressing.” As I said before, yes, some may say it’s the easiest job but just like everyone else in the world, they are people too. You don’t know what is going on behind the scenes in the life of your server/bartender/hostess.
Yes, some will say, when you walk in the doors, your personal issues stay outside. THAT IS NEVER THE CASE AND YOU KNOW IT. That has to be some Jedi mind trick that no one has ever taught me, and I don’t believe it’s true. Do I put on a fake smile sometimes? Absolutely. Will I ever be rude to a customer because I’m having a bad day/week/month? Never. However, if you don’t treat me like a human being, I’m certainly not going to give you the same respect. So, the next time you say to yourself, “Wow, this service sucks”, take a different approach. That normal protocol of not tipping or asking to speak to the manager, because option A.) you just made that server pay for your meal or option B.) you potentially just got that person fired from a minimum wage job. If someone came into your job, wherever it may be and was rude to you, what would you do?

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The point I’m trying to make here is all about: EMPATHY. This is totally not a religious, Jesus, rant. It’s about treating others with respect, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. No matter what, the common denominator is that we are all made of skin, bones, and blood. We all have a brain, and just because you have the time to go sit at a restaurant, does not make you any more superior than the person serving you your food and drinks. Just keep that in mind the next time you go out for dinner, or have a Betties night out. That girl serving you, and your Betties cosmos, COULD BE WITH HER BETTIES, having cosmos, but instead she is there taking care of YOU. Take the time to realize that and treat her right.)

xoxo,

Bobby

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Do you Groupon?

OK, so we may be a little late on reviewing our thoughts on this but better late than never right?

groupon      So, with all the buying and selling websites these days: Ebay, Amazon, Etsy, Wanelo, etc. also came a few websites that feature the selling of products, getaways, goods and services. All of this at a discounted price. Seems legit:

    Groupon, Inc. offers online retail services. The Company provides daily deal on the stuff to do, eat, see and buy in more than 500 markets in 44 countries. It has offices across North America, Europe, Latin America, Asia and other parts of the world. The Company provides an online service that lets groups of people create campaigns to pool resources, including money and personal commitments to take action. It allows users to sell products and transact business online.” –CNBC

If you care enough to research it before you whip out that shiny AMEX, you may find some negative talk about the website. However, we are not here to debate what’s right and what’s wrong. We happen to love Groupon and have definitely bought our share of goods.

You can get anything from a an hour massage for $29 dollars at your local salon to a six-night Ireland vacation with airfare, accommodations and rental car for $999. Worth it! They also offer things like hair and car services, jewelry, clothes, electronics and so much more.

Check it out Betties..but don’t blame us if you get addicted. This is your warning, shop with caution.

XO,

The Ultimate Betties

The Ultimate Cooking Website

Today, like any other day… we found ourself in the kitchen trying to prepare lunch. This becomes a daily battle. We enjoy cooking very much, its therapeutic and a skill every true Betty must have. However, we are NO Paula Dean. We literally go buy the correct amount of ingredients for whichever meal we are making. Leaving us with scraps leftover after only a few days. It’s like being in college ALL OVER AGAIN.

cheese….chicken….strawberry jelly…. onion and chive cream cheese…. and….. wait, is that a tomato? what in the hell kind of meal is this going to make?

 

What if there was a site that you could just punch in all of your household ingredients and WAH-LA…. a list appears! All of your problems would be solved! Well… do we have a surprise for you – go check outSuper Cook: Recipe Search by Ingredients. If we are late to the game on this, please keep your smirks to a minimum. We are very excited to have discovered this. Maybe now we can finally start mastering the art of cooking, one random ingredient at a time.

Xo,

The Ultimate Betties

 

The Real Dope on Valentine’s Day

So February 14 2013 is around the corner and all you Bobs are feeling the pressure to
give gifts, chocolate, diamonds, roses, heart-shaped anything and who knows what. There are two ways to look at this day. Old school is chocolate, diamonds, roses and hearts. Give and ye shall receive. Here’s a new perspective. There are 364 other days in a calendar year (that’s 8,736 hours) and we ‘Bob’s’ should not be judged by how we perform on any given day or one ‘special’ day lasting only 24 hours. We should give love to our partners each and every day.

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So as the story goes, Saint. Valentine gave his life for love, the love of others and the
love for a woman. Let’s all resolve to redefine Valentine’s Day and share the love with more than just your partner, male or female. Do a good deed. Bring joy and happiness to a true stranger, that is indeed a form of love worthy of universal celebration Lets all redefine this day for lovers as a day for sharing universal love, love of our fellow-man (or woman) especially the love of a stranger or group of strangers. Do something anonymous and feel the love emanate from within.

Certainly these random and anonymous acts of kindness would get a big thumbs up
from the long deceased Saint Valentine. Heck, even Hallmark would come out with some new cards and figure out how to monetize this newly defined Holiday!

Peace,

The Ultimate Bob

40 days…40 nights?

It’s that time of year again..Lent. Bet you weren’t ready for that one, huh?

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which is always the start of the 40 days & 40 nights of Lent. For those of you who aren’t of the Christian religion, people observe Lent to give up something in their lives in order to feel closer to a higher power. More or less. Lent ends the day before Easter Sunday.

In this case, we take part. Are we God-fearing, church girls..not so much. But what YOU believe in is all up to you. (Remember, never judge especially when it comes to religion). These Betties like to take the time every year to give up something that isn’t good for our health or well-being. Last year, one of us gave up our addiction to Red Bull..not so sure that will be happening again this year though.

Nevertheless, we challenge you all to give up at least one thing, any one thing, for 40 days and 40 nights. Can you take it? We know you can!

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We want to hear from you, tell us what thing you plan on giving up and keep us updated.

XO,

The Ultimate Betties

What did we learn this week?

Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. It’s been said that trust in any relationship is one of the most important aspects. Without it, your relationship is nothing.

This week we learned that broken trust truly is the hardest thing to rebuild. Where do you begin? How do you move forward? and the hardest question still remains; Can you really ever trust someone again after they have betrayed you?

After reading many articles and racking our brain trying to come up with answers, we realized something, Betties. You can read 100 books, articles, and interviews about this topic, but one thing is certain. Unless you can get over whatever betrayal took place, you will never fully trust a person again.  You have to start by letting go. Forgive but never forget.

It’s Friday. A new week is upon us. We challenge you to try to let go of any loose ends that may be causing conflict in your relationship. Whether it be you or the other person who caused the issue. Life is too short to hold on to grudges. If you feel that a person should stay in your life for any reason; act on it. Move forward. Work together as a team and reach your goal.

Have a safe weekend!

Xo,

The Ultimate Betties

 

Keep Calm & Be Polite

Time to vent Betties! This one goes out to all of those who put up with their Bob’s buddies. If Bob has a solid crew: pat yourself on the back, open a new tab, and go browse Victoria’s Secret swim line.

We will guesstimate that nine out ten readers have this so-called “buddy” in his boxers on their couch. Okay! Maybe that’s a bit dramatic. How are you supposed to act when you and Bob’s best friend don’t get along? Here’s how:

1. Spend time apart. (You should be doing this anyways — it’s healthy) this way he can spend time with the guys and doesn’t feel stuck choosing one relationship over the other.
2. Don’t discuss this person. It’s not a bad thing to not discuss someone who might later create drama.
3. BE CORDIAL! Say hello and goodbye. Truthfully, you don’t need to say much more. It’s impolite not to acknowledge a person entering or exiting a room.

There’s always the fourth and most ideal option: get to know them. Maybe you two are similar? Maybe there’s something about this person that would change your opinion of them? Either way, outside opinions shouldn’t dictate your relationship status. Take what people say with a grain of salt. Trust those who try to help dim your ‘love blinders’ in certain situations. Otherwise, follow your heart and try to maintain your betty-like demeanor through the drama.

For relationship advice, pointers, or just a listening ear –
email us theultimatebetty@gmail.com subject line: Dear Betty

Xoxo,
The Ultimate Betties

Catfishing Mondays

It’s Monday night which means fresh episodes of ‘Catfish‘; a Betties favorite MTV hit series. For those of you who don’t know – the show is a spin-off from the movie ‘Catfish’ released in 2010. Two young men help people meet their online love interests.

Nine times out of ten the people behind their Facebook profiles aren’t who they say they are. Whether it’s to seek revenge or feel accepted; every person has a unique story.

Of course delusion is the first word that comes to mind while watching each episode. In the back of their mind, don’t they wonder – is this real? Especially if they have never spoken to this person on the phone. It’s 2013, everybody and their dog has a cell phone.  Even if they question it they still see it through. It makes us believe there’s some hope in this world. The positive side to this show is how much hope and faith these youngsters have in love. It’s actually quite cute. It shows our world isn’t completely jaded.

We personally commend  participants on the show. It’s heart wrenching to watch the disappointment. However, we think you should all be cautious of online dating. Everybody seems interesting and fabulous behind a computer screen. Your imagination creates the person you want. Let’s get back to being confident enough to seek out love the old-fashioned way. Face-to-face.

XO,

The Ultimate Betties

Men and Manicures: When is Much Just Too Much?

First things first, I’m a bit uncomfortable with the title of “The Ultimate Bob”.  Bob is a tiny bit too masculine for me, so let’s stick with something a tiny bit more attractive.  Just call me … “The Ultimate Bobby”.  We’ll go with that.  Speaking of masculinity (see what I did there?), that’s kind of what I’d like to talk about: men and manicures.
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Personally, I don’t mind men getting manicured, in fact I’m one of those who gets them.  However, I find that most people, men and women collectively, disapprove or find humor in men getting manicured.  We live in the year 2013, and gender roles and their relevance are on their way out.  So it’s hard for me to believe that this proves to be an issue today.  Are men and manicures just too much?  My answer: No.
There are several reasons why:
1) It’s hygienic, an important trait in the work place AND in a relationship
2) It improves the strength of the nail itself
3) It’s shiny!
4) It shows that the man is comfortable enough with himself, and he’s open-minded
5) It’s shiny!!!!
So when you’re looking at a Bob with pristine nails, don’t pass judgement on him.  Instead, praise the Bob for his hygiene and for his open-mindedness.  Besides, don’t we all want a man who cares just a TINY bit about what he looks like?  Is it not true that any good Bob always wants to look his best?
So Betties [and Bobs], men and manicures aren’t too much, they’re just enough.  I’d be more worried if they’re enjoying some retail therapy and asking how your older brother is — THAT’s too much.
By the way, HOW is your brother?  😉
XO,
“The Ultimate Bobby”

Not So Random Thoughts

Not So Random thoughts for 2013 from an Ultimate Bob.

Like many before, New Years fizzled for me this year. It wasn’t because I wasn’t excited to ring in a new year and wash away the old. I goofed up on the Ultimate Bob protocol for a proper celebratory transition into the New Year. My positive attitude knows I will do far better as we go forward into 2014.

Despite the gender swerve, we are all, at one level or another, alike no matter how different we envision ourselves. We love peace, dislike hate and intolerance and enjoy being respected; the list is long. We all spend multicolored money and we all bleed red blood. There is only one race…The Human Race and we’re all in it together.

Let’s all plan on making 2013 the year that each of us make a difference. If you go and volunteer in a soup kitchen, don’t wait. If you donate clothes or household goods to needy and deserving charities, do it sooner. There is no room for intellectual lethargy. Get Moving! Let’s not wait for the transition into 2014 to lament the important things we promised to do this year but didn’t. Good intentions are only a good start.

The Ultimate Bob…

What Did You Learn This Week?

What Did You Learn This Week: Health in America

This week, we did not learn something of positivity but rather negativity. However, it was something we would like to share with everyone.

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We read this article on USA Today’s website: “Americans live sicker, die younger than Others.” When we read through it we were particularly surprised considering how many resources the U.S. has and have developed over the years.
“Americans consume more calories per person; are more likely to abuse drugs; less likely to wear seat belts, more likely to be in a traffic accident; and are more likely to use a firearm in acts of violence…Well-educated Americans — with medical insurance and healthy habits, such as avoiding tobacco and obesity — are still sicker than their peers abroad.” That’s scary.

We will let you read the article at your leisure. This really opened up our eyes to something we didn’t realize was going on and we hope it will do the same for you all.

As Betties it is part of our duty to help. Plus, we want all of you and our friends and family around for as long as possible! Start taking a look at how you’re living and the people around you. Help them, suggest to them how to live a little better. It may not all be just about exercise(though it does have a lot of benefits) it could be more simple than that. Help someone quit smoking, be their therapist and let’s not forget to teach our children the same things. Studies show the first 5 years of a child’s life are the most influential.

How can you help?

XO,

The Ultimate Betties

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover

As Betties, we truly believe and live by the statement ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. We were reminded of this a few nights ago while hanging out with new friends. A girl decided to have a heart to heart with me and later revealed she judged me instantly the moment we met. She couldn’t believe her judgements were completely opposite of how I actually am. She profusely apologized and said she would never do that again. I think we tend to place people in stereotypes and forget to judge the person individually (after getting to know them, of course) Today is Monday and we urge you to look past the cover and get to know everyone for who they are on the inside. Stay true to you, Betties. Our intuition is always on point. Give people a chance.

Xo,
The Ultimate Betties

Five ways to improve your stagnant state of mind

A new year always makes us evaluate how our life is going. We all get into ruts and at times feel our life is stagnant. We even tend to think there’s no resolution. We’ve attempted different ways to revamp ourselves. Here are five things we have found helpful:

1. Exercise before starting your day. As Elle Wood says, ‘Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.’
2. Get out of your comfort Zone. For example: Sign up for a cooking class, go to the shooting range, join a book club, etc.
3. Set aside an hour a day to unwind by meditating. This helps you let go and become present in the ‘now’
4. Change up the routine of your day. It may sound silly but it can make you feel less mundane.
5. Travel to a foreign country. This is the most ideal way to expand your mind. Of course, it’s expensive. Set aside money each paycheck – before you know it you will be on your way to a new destination.

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Hypnosis

So, Betties, it’s Wednesday. The third day of the new year, have you tried anything new yet?

Self Hypnosis Spiral

We have all tried this as kids, taking a chain watch and swinging it in front of someones eyes trying to hypnotize them into doing something of our own wants and needs. Well, we are all about new this year and hypnosis sounds like something new we would like to try.

Hypnosis is the change of the psychological state of mind resembling sleep but in reality you are awake. The subjects concentration is heightened while simultaneously blocking out other distractions.

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It’s not like the above anymore, there is no swinging of an object it’s much more simple today. We stumbled across a website that has TONS of different types of hypnosis categories. From trying to cure the common addictions to fighting off negativity.

Most downloads start at $12.95 and go up from there, if you prefer them on CD with free shipping they are a little more.

Have any of you ever tried Hypnosis? If you or someone you know has send us an e-mail or comment below and let us know what you thought about the result.

XO,

The Ultimate Betties

Our Top 10 Gift Ideas for Her

Yesterday we featured the top 10 gift ideas for him. Today we will do the same but gifts for your wife, girlfriend, aunt or best friend instead! All under $100.

1. Forever Friends Necklace. $69.99. A new spin on the “BFF” necklace.

2. Wine-Opoly Board Game. $19.00. Need we explain further?

3. Sephora Favorites Party Sampler. $45.00. Perfect for the make-up girl and such an awesome deal.

4. Passive-Aggressive Notes. $11. We love these, hilarious and useful.

5. Tabletop Cosmetic Organizer. $30. Have a OCD organizer or neat-freak in your life? You’re welcome.

6. Recharge and Renew. $39.99. Coffee enthusiasts rejoice, a whole package dedicated just for you.

7. Personalized Poem and Canvas. $47.95. Sweet gesture for your best friend.

8. Lomography Dreamer Camera. $65.00. For the avid photographer as a unique gift.

9. Show Me How:500 Things You Should Know. $16.49. A book that everybody should have.

10. Insulated Wine Glasses. $25.95. Set of two.

This one didn’t make our list but it should be noted:  UGG Earmuffs with Speaker Technology. $94.99. For the city girl with a cold winter.

Betties, we hope you enjoyed these gift ideas and that you and yours have a great holiday!

XO,

The Ultimate Betties