22 Rules to Life

Happy Monday Betties! We were browsing the web earlier and stumbled across this list of the “22 Rules to Life.” We liked it so much we thought we would share it with you.

1.) Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you “you need to stop thinking so much,” call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupid people. Your mind is the most important thing you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy.

2.) Stare into space blankly and don’t mentally punish yourself for doing it, even if it is for that split second.

3.) Don’t be afraid to talk about anything. You shouldn’t be afraid of reality.

4.) Everyone is a hypocrite.

5.) You are all original. Every life experience is case-sensitive and unique. Every time you wake up or quote someone else, you are becoming more you than anyone has ever been.

6.) Do pointless things. Don’t actively restrain or hide yourself from the redundant.

7.) Stop rushing. Shut up and embrace the sound of silence.

8.) Religion shouldn’t be taught, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe except for you.

9.) Talking to yourself is healthy. Is there anyone you have more in common with?

10.) There is no such thing as time. The sun never sets or rises. Days and years don’t exist. There is only your life.

11.) We will always be in a transitional phase. Look outside and know that everything will be replaced at some point. This existence is temporary.

12.) It’s not half empty or half full. It’s half a glass.

13.) Every now and then, you take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. Renew its resistance.

14.) Be happy, but don’t force it.

15.) You will always succeed in trying.

16.) We are all crazy.

17.) We are all about as similar as we are different.

18.) Ideas are about as valuable as people.

19.) Words will always be just words. Love is just another four letter word, only the feeling is real.

20.) Ask a child for advice. They may not know much, but they know what’s important.

21.) Prove you’re alive. Do anything from dancing in the supermarket to taking an impulse trip to another country. Remind the world you are still here.

22.) Don’t take anything seriously.


Check up on these every now and then, a little reminder and thought never hurt anyone.


The Ultimate Betties


Bite your Tongue!

Betties, this one is going to be short and sweet and this is why; because we say what we want when we want. Seriously.


The older we get and the more situations that we encounter, the more we learn to truly speak our minds. Growing up, we tried to bite our tongues when we were mad in lieu of keeping ourselves on the safe side. Not any more honey, say what you want!

Speak that mind of yours. Someone put you down? Leave you high and dry with no explanation about why they wanted out? Or perhaps they just annoy the ever-living sh*t out of you. Tell them what has been eating at you all this time. If you choose to put it nicely, so be it but don’t hold back your feelings too long. Everyone should say what they want and ask the questions they need to acquire the answers they deserve.

And remember to not feel bad about it once it’s over. People will respect the blunt truth over the hiding of a lie, just to avoid feelings or awkwardness.

..At one point it is what you wanted to say.


The Ultimate Betties

The Giving Tree

Are you the type of person who constantly gives? to the point where it’s a major fault and leaves you feeling depleted? Everyone occasionally feels like this, but there is definitely a ‘type’ of person out there that gives until they have absolutely nothing.

We are very into astrology (we always take it with a grain of salt) but one particular horoscope this week stuck out to us. “Being a giver is wonderful – as long as the recipients are worth of your gifts.

We aren’t advising you to become the worlds biggest bitch and say no so much it’s the only word in your vocabulary. However, putting yourself first is healthy. It’s vital to making yourself happy as well as successful. Everyone is always preaching that givers are far more rewarded than takers. MAYBE that is true BUT at what point will YOU be the one who is taking a little while others give to you. It has to be just the right type of balance.

Never let anyone take advantage of you or make you feel that you cannot get things accomplished YOU need to because their tasks are more important. It’s healthy to say no every now and then. Never stretch yourself too thin. The only person that hurts is YOU.


West Coast Betty

All those eggs..

Do you find that you put them into that little basket..too often? Yeah, it’s a problem with most people and we’re trying to teach ourselves a new technique.

You see, men, a lot of them always have a back-up plan. For an example, (sorry bobs) they always have something or someone there for them when things go wrong, or a back-up plan if something fails. It could be pig-ish or it could be genius. If we get over the fact that this is absolute truth and move on to the fact that it’s actually a smart move..snaps for the smart men out there.


We’ve learned this past week again, not to believe everything we hear and be content with what we have. There is far too much going on in the world and around us everyday to have our minds set on just ONE person or ONE job or ONE thing. Don’t get us wrong, if you have a great job and a great relationship, congratulations! You achieved what you wanted but for the rest of us still trying to get that job or find that perfect mate, take that old idiom and use it.

Just stay true to you and good things will come your way. Promise.


The Ultimate Betties

Dear Candice

Oscar Wilde said it best – “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”

Dedicated to Candice

Think of a stream with water running through it with no current. Now, imagine yourself swimming upstream against the current you created. I am sure many of us can imagine creating our own problems. I was the problem. Some people are quick to blame others for their problems. I know today that the currents in my life are the ones I have created. I produced them for myself and for her. I loved her despite myself. She loved me anyway.

The majority of my drama has been of my own making. People sometimes aren’t aware of the drama that they are in because they’re too caught up in their own bullshit (current) to see it. I’m guilty of this and anyone who knows me and is reading this is most definitely nodding their head up and down in agreement.

The best part about people who are drama is that they just bitch bitch bitch about everything wondering why they have so much drama in their life. And WHINE. Whine about everything. OMG,  just stop, save the drama for your mama and look in the mirror. You are no longer that little stream with a few little currents; you’re more like the owner of an amusement park operating the wave pool. What’s funny is you think everything is about you and cry regularly because Jane Doe deleted you from Facebook. Why you consider this Jane Doe a BFF baffles me because you guys aren’t even friends in real life. Half the time you think people delete you from Facebook when they’ve actually just deactivated their account due to their own drama. Ha! Come on, you know you’ve done this at least once. We’ve all done it. Don’t try and deny the fact that you thought one of your Facebook “friends” deleted and blocked you when really; they simply deactivated their account. Time to get real. Lesbehonest.

In all seriousness, regarding love and life – I was missing a key ingredient…self-love. I think it’s hard for people to love someone else if they don’t fully love themselves. See, the stream is my life. The water is me. The current is what I manifested while swimming upstream against the natural flow of life. At times it felt like a monstrous and considerably greater current than it was. Currents don’t have to exist.

Throughout my life, some of the currents have often felt like an undertow one could experience in the ocean during high tide unable to return to shore. It is only as of late that I’m aware of the undertow that I’ve created for myself. Self-awareness is another key ingredient. Otherwise, you are living a recipe for disaster dumbfounded why your life is a hot mess. The water was intended to be pure. It is for the most part. I believe we are all pure at the core of our beings.

How did I come to understand all of this? Love. Pain. Loss. Heartbreak. She was my greatest love and my biggest teacher. Sure, some may consider it a revolving door relationship, but boy did we try. We tried long and hard. Underneath all of the bullshit, we loved one another so very deeply. She recently told me I couldn’t possibly love her. I did. Very much. I still do. I always will. I loved her as best as I was capable. I told her some time ago if things didn’t work out, she’d always be the one that got away.

Who knows what forever really means anyway? But maybe, just maybe, nothing lasts forever. Or, maybe it does and it’s supposed to last as long as the forever you’re supposed to have with someone until forever runs its course. She saw me, the real me, better than I saw myself, and she loved me despite the current. But she was drowning and I was pulling her down. I didn’t know how to swim. How could I support us both out there in high tide when she was the air I was breathing as I kept going under pulling her down with me?

She couldn’t be my life-jacket anymore. She had to let go. She did it for both of us. I broke our hearts. I can see that now in hindsight but boy does heartbreak suck. It bugs the shit out of me when I hear people say, “It will be ok. Time heals all wounds.” But it does. It’s true. My heart is healing. Slowly. I’m learning. What’s most important is allowing yourself the time to do so. Time to heal. She’s forced me to dig deep enough within myself to find the answers because that’s where the truth lies. That’s the lesson. She’s changed my life.

I will never forget her. In the beginning she told me I renewed her capacity for love. You want to know why she has been so instrumental in my life? I’ll tell ya. Maybe I did renew her capacity for love. She should know she renewed my capacity for love too, more than words can ever express.

The lesson here – love yourself first. No one can be your life-jacket. Everyone around us is our teacher. Look for the lessons in everyone and everything.




This isn’t quite like an I Love Lucy episode; we have found that taking vitamins daily is vital to your overall health. We aren’t getting any younger Betties, so we must prepare by taking care of our bodies now!

We chose our top categories and will list which vitamins you need to take to support that area in your life.

Beauty (A true betty takes pride in her looks)

Cognitive (to regain all of those lost brain cells from EDC & TAO over the years) There are many different vitamins in this category. We chose our two favorites.

  • Omega 3- Fatty Acids
  • SAM-e

Heart (the most vital organ in our body)

Digestive (diet pills are a NO; to maintain a healthy weight making sure you are on track with digestion is the healthiest and most effective long-term)

  • Multivitamin
  • Prebiotics
  • Probiotics
  • Vitamin D

Immune (An apple a day keeps the DR away)

  • Echinacea
  • Multivitamins
  • Vitamin C
  • Vitamin E
  • Zinc

Most of these vitamins are familiar to you but any that you are unsure of (beauty especially) do research. Find what brand works for you! Take it even a step further. If you have a local nutrition store; go browse and ask the store clerks for their opinion.



The Ultimate Betties

The L Word

I am proud of who I am. Especially today. I pretty much put the G in Gay or L in Lesbian or H in Homosexual. But really, what does it matter anyway? Gay, Straight, Bisexual, it’s all the same. Love is love. Relationships are not complicated. It’s the people in them that complicate the shit out of them. If your fiancé would rather stay home and watch ice-skating preliminaries versus going out on a romantic dinner date with you, you might want to take a look at how often he gets his hair cut, or quite possibly count the number of Aveda products he owns, and if you’re still wondering if your fiancé likes men more than you; check his closet. No pun intended on the closet mention…But seriously, if he wears his T-shirts tighter than you, goes to the GAY LA Fitness and comes home several hours later without breaking a sweat, then you might want to take a look at why the two of you haven’t exchanged intimate relations in the past three years. Clearly, there is something missing. It’s ok. If you truly love yourself then you can let him go. Let him go find his prince-charming. It will be hard at first but often times people don’t know they are gay.

Take me for example. I didn’t know I was in high school but Ashley did. So, after going through a recent break-up, afraid of love and fearing I’d never find it again, love will always find a way. I did familiarize myself with the madness in which we call online dating,as well, which was a HUGE help in coming to understand that love was there all along. I just had to look within myself, not on Plenty of Fish. There is no love more validating other than that of self, and not in a narcissistic manner, but a self-validating fashion. See, the writing on the wall speaks volumes and it is always there. We just need to be aware. The best relationships begin when we least expect them. It’s when we aren’t searching and looking for “something” when love comes knocking at your door. For me, she was there all along. But who would have thought we’d reconnect on this level fourteen years later? It’s new and wonderful and exciting and oh, so very gay. If gay means happy, then I’m truly happy. Ashley, that’s her name. She’s a breath of fresh air. We literally broke out in song earlier to the Little Mermaid. “No, the Little Mermaid is my bitch! No, she’s mine. Fine, Finding Nemo is #2 on my list. No! It’s my #2.”

The bottom line: All labels aside, love doesn’t discriminate. The only thing that discriminates is ignorance. Today is a big day in our country regarding the cases being heard before the Supreme Court with respect to Proposition 8 and DOMA. All love is equal. Love has no limits. The greatest love of all is the love for oneself and the rest will follow.

Three’s A Crowd

Monday called for our weekly lunch with the girls. Our favorite time of the week to catch up with every one that lives near us!

Shockingly… a friend we never thought had a wild side is the wildest of us all. Which brings us to the “three’s a crowd” saying. We understand the young, wild, and free phase we tend to go through during our 20’s. however, we don’t think bringing in a third to the relationship is necessary until latter years of marriage. How many 100% secure chicks do YOU know in their 20’s? Exactly. So how is that going to work? If your girlfriend gets jealous over you liking some other girls picture on Instagram; prepare for chaos. She won’t enjoy watching you pleasure a female or vice-versa.

Why not explore other sexual things with your partner that create less drama? Too many people have let the shittiest term created “YOLO” get to their head. Good things happen to those who wait. So wait. Or don’t, but you can’t say we didn’t warn you.

The Ultimate Bettie’s

Glamp – Don’t Camp

After spending three VERY long, dirty days, camping in the forest we came to a realization; Betties don’t camp. We glamp. What exactly is glamping? If you haven’t heard of it – you clearly need to catch up on your Housewives of Beverly Hills episodes because those biddies do it in style. Basically, this style of camping is for the luxurious; the ones who don’t want to get dirty. The ones who think digging a hole to go to the restroom is 100% erroneous and unacceptable for a female.
Glamping usually involves an establishment that puts together tents, cabins, or tee pees that are lavish. Actual beds on the inside with absolutely little chance of critter friends joining you in the night. There are communal showers, bathrooms, as well as a market to purchase food and alcohol. If you are lucky enough, some glamp sites even offer tent service. Seriously? Who would ever want to pack up a tent, sleeping bag, and shovel for your next adventure when you can still be one with nature but in complete comfort.
We suggest you skip the whole “I’m totally outdoorsy” act to your new man and inform him to call the boys next time he feels the need to channel his inner caveman. Woo him by visitingglampinghub.com and plan the most adventurous, comfortable, unforgettable weekend.
Trust us.
The Ultimate Betties

Spring Breakers

OK..soo saw the movie Spring Breakers last night and had to write a little something up for it.


Ever since we heard about this movie, months ago, we have wanted to see it. James Franco plays a “sensitive” drug hustler named Alien, complete with guns, money and a grill.

Basically the teen queens: Ashley Benson, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens and Rachel Korine rob a bank to fund money for their Spring Break trip down in Miami. Once there, they party harder than Lindsay Lohan on a daily basis.

They end up finding themselves in the slammer and are forced to either fork-up the money or spend a few more days in jail. A very “thug” Franco bails them out and pretty much enlists them into his lifestyle. Cameo by Gucci Mane. “Burr”

Truth be told, the movie was not great. Not that we were surpised but we did expect more of a story line. Franco’s performance was pretty entertaining to say the least, he definitely gave us a few laughs. If you were interested in seeing it, hope we didn’t just ruin it for you.

Wait for DVD.


The Ultimate Betties

stay weird.

Let’s first start with, what is ‘weird?’ The word is defined as

suggesting something supernatural; uncanny

We can get real philosophical on you all about this one particular word. Much like Seth Godin, we believe ‘weird’ is nothing. It shouldn’t even be a word in our vocabulary. Each one of us is unique and have qualities that not a single soul has on this planet. How mind-blowing is that? Some of the greatest people we have met would fall under the word “weird” or “uncanny”; an oddity if you will.

If we all were the same this world would be a boring place. We wouldn’t have even 2% of the amazing things we have. Not even speaking of technology. If you ever feel that you don’t fit in or are “too weird” – take a step back, and understand we are all ‘weird’. Your destiny on this earth is to find what your passion is and to let it kill you. Whatever it may be. The only opinion that matters in this life of yourself is YOUR OWN.

Stay weird, Friends!


The Ultimate Betties


Hey Betties and Bobbies,

This is my first official entry as a Bobby, so here is a little back story into my work profile. I went to school for Fashion Design. I know.. hold your “what a typical bobby” scoff, until I finish. My mom passed away while I was attending school, so I never ended up finishing. I had this whole late teens/early 20’s crisis, and decided that it wasn’t for me. That is when I settled to work in the hospitality industry. I am, by no means, turning my nose up at ANY position in this field. In all of my experience, they literally are the hardest working people. Even if someone says “it’s the easiest job in the world”. Yeah, okay. It’s easy. However, there is far more to it than meets the eye.

Though I now have a career in the fashion industry, I still continue to bartend and serve because the people I work with, and work for are amazing. I have been there for 6 years, and they have literally become my family. I have seen so many people, come and go. ‘This one is a teacher, this one is a nurse, this one is a doctor’ so please be mindful of “the bitch who didn’t bring you a diet coke” or “the asshole who forgot your ranch dressing.” As I said before, yes, some may say it’s the easiest job but just like everyone else in the world, they are people too. You don’t know what is going on behind the scenes in the life of your server/bartender/hostess.
Yes, some will say, when you walk in the doors, your personal issues stay outside. THAT IS NEVER THE CASE AND YOU KNOW IT. That has to be some Jedi mind trick that no one has ever taught me, and I don’t believe it’s true. Do I put on a fake smile sometimes? Absolutely. Will I ever be rude to a customer because I’m having a bad day/week/month? Never. However, if you don’t treat me like a human being, I’m certainly not going to give you the same respect. So, the next time you say to yourself, “Wow, this service sucks”, take a different approach. That normal protocol of not tipping or asking to speak to the manager, because option A.) you just made that server pay for your meal or option B.) you potentially just got that person fired from a minimum wage job. If someone came into your job, wherever it may be and was rude to you, what would you do?


The point I’m trying to make here is all about: EMPATHY. This is totally not a religious, Jesus, rant. It’s about treating others with respect, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. No matter what, the common denominator is that we are all made of skin, bones, and blood. We all have a brain, and just because you have the time to go sit at a restaurant, does not make you any more superior than the person serving you your food and drinks. Just keep that in mind the next time you go out for dinner, or have a Betties night out. That girl serving you, and your Betties cosmos, COULD BE WITH HER BETTIES, having cosmos, but instead she is there taking care of YOU. Take the time to realize that and treat her right.)



Happy Hands

We have come to realize lately, if we’re not doing something almost always, then were either sleeping or on the edge of going crazy.

Do you find yourself with far too much down time? Maybe you’re in the middle of a transition phase of your life and your “me” time is through the roof. Super, however there is only so much of yourself you can handle in one day. With all those thoughts circling around in there.. You’re bound to over think and we all know where over-thinking leads us… destruction of some sort.

Betties keep busy and though we thoroughly enjoy our down time we also are so much more productive when we just keep going. There is this saying “happy hands, happy heart.” Stay busy and you won’t dwell on things so much.


If you find yourself with too much down time, you better pick your ass up and go do something productive. Don’t get stagnant, challenge yourself everyday. Always make time for yourself but part of that is doing things for others as well.

Stay Humble!

xo The Ultimate Betties

What We Learned This Week

Teen Mom‘s Leah Calvert must have a  p—- made of gold, oops, we meant to say ‘heart’ – a HEART of gold. On this weeks episode of Teen Mom 2: So hard to say good-bye, we had an epiphany.

20 something year old Leah Calvert must be doing something right. Either in the bedroom (our guess) or just has the greatest heart in the world. How can a girl (who gave back her engagement ring to rekindle love with baby daddy) pull off getting that ring back only a week later when she realizes her ex doesn’t want to commit? I’m not sure if it’s a backwoods thing, but I don’t know one male who would put up with that BS.

We want your thoughts! Guys – would you put up with these games? Ladies – do you agree or disagree with what she is doing? Let us know!


The Ultimate Betties

Rants and Raves: Poking

Get your mind out of the gutter! Ha..no really we would’ve thought along those lines too.

OK, we do realize this is completely 7 years ago but it’s recent to us as of late anyways. WHY on earth are you Facebook poking me? Seriously.

When we typed in Facebook Poking on Google, one of our favorite sites popped up; Urban Dictionary. Here’s the first definition:

When bitches want to have sex, so they push the poke button on Facebook to say they are dtf.
Well, isn’t that super. So, my little Spanish friend from work and an ex hook-up are both sharing their interest in poking me? If that isn’t romantic, what is?
Was Mark Zuckerberg trying to create the easiest way to initiate a booty-call without actually having to call or speak to that person at all? Fail. If you want a hook-up buddy you better develop that personality, Facebook can only take you so far.
Don’t be a D-bag and don’t poke, so 2006.
The Ultimate Betties