For the independent, hard-working, Betty’s — We all know how it feels to find yourself in a situation that mirrors a scene from Office Space. Aside from this movie being a comedy classic; it’s also the most dead-on movie. If you’ve ever worked in an office you hate the following:
- Copy Machines – You would think that in 2011 the supply manager could actually take that 2 grand and buy a functioning machine, but no. You find yourself daily wanting to take out your anger on it with a bat.
- Peppy Patty – We all have one of these. Description: Usually a woman (if it’s a man, this is even worse) who finds herself/himself overjoyed by being at work, loves socializing and knows too much about every single person that works for your company. This is the person that you’d find quoting “looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!”. Although, you never break your Betty and politely smile as peppy patty walks away, you really want to strong-arm-a-ho.
- Office Perv Talk – Every office has a perv. In some cases, multiple pervs. There’s nothing worse than getting an earful of their weekend rendezvous. You would think MAYBE just MAYBE they would censor themselves. Of course not. Office pervs WANT you to know how they “banged the $%^@ out of that silicon-ed bronzed babe”. Gag-me.
- ‘Mental Health Day’ Lecture – God forbid you take a day off to sleep-in, veg on the couch and catch up on your favorite trashy reality shows, and run all of the errands you can’t during business hours (more vegging-less errand running). No one likes to be working and look over at your empty cubicle. They start day dreaming of all the fabulous things you’re doing like being fanned by a hot Brazilian cabana boy while sipping on a margarita. NEWS FLASH: I’m on my couch in my boyfriends shirt and boxers, no make-up, a green tea mask peeling from my face and my mouth is filled with every snack I can grab. Not the most glorious image, but they still are out to get you. You walk in the next day looking refreshed and better than ever to have your bubble burst faster than you can click “CLOCK IN”.
This all sounds extremely awful. Who would ever put themselves in this position 8 hours a day 5 days a week? The Betty that knows in five years she’ll be writing the office perv’s paychecks and firing peppy patty the first chance she gets. All the while, laughing her sweet little tush all the way to the bank. Climb that ladder Betty’s. It’s a much more beautiful view from the top.
The Ultimate Betties