Everytime I hear the song It’s Friday, I’m in love by The Cure, it automatically puts me in a great mood. However, I never really start to think about these lyrics until it’s 5pm and I’m walking… wait, no.. skipping out the office doors to my car! This a very joyous moment. You have the entire weekend a head of you to do whatever your heart desires!
Let’s rewind to 8am on a Friday morning. The Coffee, Dr. Pepper, and excessive amounts of sugar you have already consumed don’t seem to be helping you keep your eyes open. The stacks of paperwork on your desk don’t even phase you. You’re not stressed. You’re indifferent. The Free People website looks way more appealing to you than anything semi-relevant to your work day, but how do you get through a 8+ hour day fooling people? Well, here’s how:
- Keep your office space looking hectic. Take those large stacks of paper that you don’t give two shits about and aimlessly arrange them around your desk. Make sure they are ’somewhat’ organized for the day you ACTUALLY need to care about them.
- Position your computer screen in a way that only you can see what’s going on. *If you have a protective screen, snaps for you. Aren’t you just the smartest betty around.
- Look focused at all times. This shouldn’t be hard to do while you’re shopping online. Just don’t gasp in excitement when you see that amazing tunic is 60% off! Make sure that gasp is more disgust as you happily reach for your credit card.
- Check in with your boss every couple of hours with extremely unimportant questions, so they feel you’re working.
- Make keyboard sounds or go on any chat site and chat with friends. Problem solved.
- Inhale deeply and loudly so everyone around you can HEAR the ”stress” you’re enduring.
- Download helpful software! This exists. There are a ton of free sites that allow you to have two desktops at once with the switch of a button so you can do whateverrrr you please.
- Turn your speakers off if you’re playing games, on a website that has sound, listening to music, etc.
- TRY to socialize with your co-workers, even if they are the reason you’ve checked out of work an entire day early. Turn Auto-pilot ON.
- Don’t forget to take regular breaks. You wouldn’t skip them if you were working, so why skip them now? That will ruin this entire process.
Let me make this ultra clear, do not by any means take advantage of this. Have you ever heard the quote “Everything in moderation”. Ok, well apply that to this as well. DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR OTHERS! It’s a great escape every Friday. If I find out one of my reader’s has abused this – I’ll personally send the Men in Black to clear your memory of this and put you RIGHT back to where you were before I posted this; unhappy, tired, miserable, and not getting paid to shop online 🙂